Expletives Contained
2009-12-15 - 9:04 p.m.
Term has finished and I am home for Christmas. My mum is already getting on my nerves. I predict a long month ahead of me. Reasons why my holiday will be rubbish: 1) no money, 2) lots of work and 3) recent arrival in Singleville, population one.
I am not quite as positive about the change in my relationship status as I was last entry. I actually can’t be bothered to talk about it all anymore, and whereas I usually like to write things in here for my own personal record that I can look back on, I don’t even want to remember much of the last week. Basically, there is a girl at R’s work who I was always suspicious of due to him telling me she was overly flirty, and also hearing off other people some very unsavoury things about her, i.e. she shagged around behind her own boyfriend’s back, has friends who like to start on people a lot, and generally thinks she is the shit. And this girl, well, magically, she and R are practically dating now. He picked her up from a night in town within two days of us finishing, arranged to go for a drink with her the day after (this date was cancelled due to her having a ‘rashy face’ – I naturally assume herpes) and is going to the cinema with her this week. Basically my stance is this: he is a massive ballbag, she is a slut, they must have been at the very least flirting heavily while me and him were still together, and I think the fact that he knew there was this easy option open to him helped him enormously in making his decision to end it with the troublesome ‘half an hour’s drive away’ girlfriend. They can both get FUCKED.
Despite my obvious bitterness, I am trying as often as I can to look at it in the respect that nothing probably happened while we were together and so he hasn’t technically done anything wrong. And he has said to me that he knows she is cheap and is pretty much going along for an easy bit of fun to take his mind off me (I know, charming young man he’s turning out to be). I really don’t want to have an angry heart; I don’t want to become scornful and twisted at such an early stage in my relationship history. But damn, it’s very easy to slip out of your positive mindframe. Especially when you do still love the fucker.