Overtaken by a Chubby Girl
2009-10-20 - 4:50 p.m.
I have shut my curtains in an attempt to make me a bit less depressed about the shockingly dismal weather we are suffering through in Uni Land today. As if my pathetic excuse for a side-fringe didn’t look crap and limp enough in the dry weather! (Oh and on that note, here is a wee message to my former full-fringe: I am so sorry for ever getting rid of you, it is only now that I have Sidey that I realise the true advantages that came with having you on my face. I will win you back shortly, as soon as a magical £20 to get my hair done falls from the sky into my hands.)
I’m trying to keep my spending to a minimum at the moment. Sometimes I do quite well, like when I managed to resist the urge in Currys to buy a toasted-sandwich maker; other times I do not do so well, like when I tell my sister to order me a toga and crown off Ebay for Halloween. I splurged out today on some grapes and two plums from the market stall at uni, but I think I can forgive myself for that little discrepancy. I do need to improve my diet after all; there are only so many crumpets a girl can eat. Plus my fridge shelf is pitiful. The other girls all have lettuces and yoghurts and fruit – I currently have one almost-empty box(/packet/pot?) of butter. And that is not even a joke. I like to think that the kickboxing I have taken up with one of the flatmates will improve my health by at least 200%, but then can one hour learning how to kick somebody really make up for years of inactivity? I am, by the way, useless in kickboxing class. I’m not too bad at the stand-around-and-punch-the-air stuff, but the so-called “warm-up” at the beginning almost kills me. He made us run last week. Seriously. I thought exercise might boost my self-esteem a bit, but constantly being at the back of the running pack and getting overtaken several times by a chubby girl does NOUGHT for my inner confidence, I tell you. Maybe I’ll join the gym. Maybe...
I’m having an evening in tonight, to catch up on work and maybe do some wider reading to further extend my knowledge. Okay, that is a bit of a lie, I’m having an evening in because R is coming up to see me after he’s finished work and so I have to wait for him to arrive. But I suppose it will give me a chance to get some work done. Even though, I had the chance to do work last night and ended up just eating two Curly Wurlys and watching a copy of The Reader (which I personally didn’t think was all that, despite its awards)(which I think it won...)
I’ve just realised that I haven’t really spoken much about how me and R are getting on in this new situation of me living away. Well, I’ve been here officially a month now and I have got to say, I think we’re over the worst. There have definitely been ups and downs. The first week was a bit of a nightmare due to his paranoia over Fresher’s Week. And we do still have a few problems that need ironing out; for instance, R remains incredibly distrustful despite me NEVER DOING ANYTHING WRONG, EVER. Every morning after a night out, he will be grumpy with me on the phone, and seem like he’s trying to catch me out on something. And, because I have a slightly short temper, and am definitely lacking that docile, re-assuring, doormat-ish nature that my friend Jade has with her very similar boyfriend, it always escalates into an argument. I know that Jeremy* always says that without trust a relationship is doomed and you’re all scum, but the fact that aside from those moments we pretty much have the nicest time ever definitely makes up for it in my mind.
Of course there are times when it’s got VERY infuriating and we angrily spit at each other (not literally, we’re not that scummy) that we’d be happier apart. But oh, that’s just a lie. It’s in those quiet moments by myself that I often realise just how important he is to me. Also, I don’t think it’s until you hear of someone going through a break-up that you really realise how much you don’t want that to happen to you. The first relationship casualties of university life are starting to appear, and I’m very happy that we’re not amongst them. Everyone I know who’s in a relationship is having the same sort of struggles, and it’s quite reassuring.
I know that it’s still not plain sailing, and there’ll be many more non-literal spitting moments in the future. But I do think we’re over the biggest hurdle. And I am very much looking forward to seeing him tonight.
*Kyle, obviously... I feel we can be on first-name terms now that I have watched about a billion of his ‘chat’ shows.